Pulling My Hair Out

Ok, so this is going to be a HUGE whiny, "poor me" blog. Sorry.

Things have just been crazy..well that's how it feels to me. I don't know if I'm getting postpartum or what. I feel like I have NO life and yet, I know that's kind of the reality of having 2 kids so close together. But I am constantly stuck at the house. Blake is fussy 90% of the time and I can't figure him out. I am constantly feeding or holding him, and when I've had my limit of that, I am listening to him cry b/c I just can't hold him anymore. On top of that, I have Bayleigh doing things she's not supposed to do to get attention. It sucks b/c I feel like I am constantly on her case and disciplining her. And when she is playing with her toys, she plays by herself b/c I am usually feeding Blake and I feel horrible that I'm not down there giving her my full attention. I am so scatter-brained. I want to scream most of the time and I have no patience for anything b/c by the time I get one down napping the other one is waking up. AHHHHHH!!! I have no ME time. I can't barely get a shower in half the time, but hey, does that really matter when I don't go anywhere anyway?? It really annoys the dickens out of me when people sit there and say they know what you're going through or anything along those lines and yet, they have their parents and/or family there to help them with the kids. They have NO idea how hard it is when you have ZERO family to help and you have NO life and b/c of this, you have hardly ANY time for friends. Rosie, you know what I'm talking about. By the way, we must get to the gym together or running together or something at least twice a week. :) I need to vent to you and I know you've got some venting to do yourself. What am I going to do without you when we move??? LOL

The other day I went out to grab a drink, by myself. The past few days I had been dealing with the kids mostly myself since Matt is back to his regular work schedule and duty days. So when he actually got home early, I went to get my nails done and a pedicure. Oh it was wonderful! Then I decided to grab a drink b/c I wasn't ready to go home. I just needed to be out a couple of hours to recoup. It felt so good to just be out amongst people. I feel so trapped at the house. It's either inside the house or backyard. I really wish I had a double stroller so I could take both of the kids on walks. Bayleigh really wants to play out front, and I try to go out there with her, but I swear every time we get out there Blake starts crying. (I leave him inside asleep b/c it's been completely sunny out and hot) So then we have to come back in as soon as we go out. UGH. I don't know what his deal is. But it's driving me INSANE.

I am tired. I know I need to start working out b/c that's the only way the endorphins are going to start kicking in. That is my goal Monday. I am going to figure out a schedule tomorrow for Matt and I so we can both get our workouts in. Plus I am going to start horse training again and I've got to figure out how I'm going to fit that in too. Plus cook dinner. Probably start cooking a lot of crock pot meals so I can do this. I miss being around the horses. Definitely therapeutic for me.

OH and on top of all this, Booger has gone blind. Literally. And he's all of the sudden lethargic and sleeps all day. He has been running into things. Practically everything. Yesterday before I took him to the vet he completely ran into the baby carrier. Just walking. Walked completely into it. The vet is sending us to a ophthalmologist to figure out what's wrong. So there is another chunk of money out the door. He has just not been my usual Booger lately. And this has just all of the sudden happened in the past few weeks. I'm really scared for him. I love that dog. He's the goofy fun crazy one of the bunch.

Well here are pictures from Easter and just some random ones I captured. :)

 Her Easter bunny from MiMi. :)

 We have taught Miss B where her Hinnie is :)

Spoiled...this is seriously what he does all day now. :(

 Momma and I about to head out for a shopping trip. This was just a few days after I got home from the hospital. 

 Pretty Bracelets

 Equation for the Gully pack :)

 Part of the colors are from him laying on the concrete and the other part are from Bayleigh coloring him LOL

Passed out from drinkin' too much. LOL

 Milk Drunk Hahaha

 Where's your hinnie Miss B??

This is what she does when we tell her to say "So long gay boys." (From the Hangover) She thinks it's hilarious and just smiles real big and laughs. Like she's embarrassed to say it. Haha

♥ K

2 weeks

Has it seriously been that long already?! Is my son already 2 weeks old?? Geez.

Time is flying by and yet, it still seems to me like it's going by so slow. We've had 2 good nights the past couple of nights. We're on a 3 hour schedule and it has been wonderful. I have energy during the day! Yay! I have decided to stop nursing all together and he seems to be doing really well with the formula. I think his stomach is just a little sensative to what I eat and right now I am not worried about what I'm eating b/c I'm am trying to keep up with Miss B. There's no telling what was making him so upset. But he has calmed down A LOT and seems to be more comfortable. Breastfeeding was getting difficult too trying to keep up with B around the house or outside and I just didn't want to be walking around the house or outside with a boob exposed. He is gaining weight really well and is already so big. I won't be surprised if he is ten pounds or more when we go to the doc on Friday. He's going to be tall, handsome and muscular like his daddy. And Miss B will be like me...blue eyes, athletic, and all attitude. LOL :) I just cannot wait to get her into soccer. It's going to be so much fun. I miss soccer so much. I even had a dream last night that I was still playing.

The past 2 weeks have been rough, but I think things are finally coming together. I'm going to start exercising next week. Monday. I have been dying to get out there and start and I'm feeling really good. I can't wait to start the half marathon training that Matt is doing. I know it's going to suck sometimes, but at the same time it will be a good thing. I've got my music downloaded and I'm ready to get myself back in shape. I'm hoping to get to 120 by the time we head to Pensacola in July. And to have my stomach looking how it did in high school, and I think that will take sprint work b/c that was when I was playing soccer all the time. Just got to figure out my schedule this weekend and how I'm going to work all this in and work Matt in so he can get his workout. He's wanting to get to how he looked in college when he was at the academy. :) He's looking so good and healthy and in shape already. ;)

Gonna go. Gotta run to CVS for some milk and cereal. :) I am been on a Capt'n crunch binder. LOL I will post pictures later.

♥ K

Movie Night

Tonight I'm going to the movies with Sylia. We are going to watch Water for Elephants. I am so excited. It looks really good. It will be so nice to get out of the house with a girl friend.

Matt and I went out the other night to grab a beer together. It was nice to be with just him for once doing something that we used to do together. However, we had to be the responsible adults and were heading home at 915. LOL If it had been like before we would have done a couple of shots probably. But it's ok, b/c it's well worth coming home and checking on your kids in bed and seeing they are safe and sound and snug in their bed. To know that we are complete. :)

Yesterday I went over to Rosie's b/c she had some bottles to give me (we've been having some gas troubles with Blake and Rosie had the Dr. Brown's bottles and practically everyone on FB suggested to use them and say they work wonders.) and I cannot tell you what a relief it was to just drive 5 minutes down the road, by myself, with the windows down and music blaring. Rosie knows exactly what I'm going through and even though we may not get to hang out a lot, just spending 45 minutes with her talking and venting is wonderful. She's going through a tough time too, but it's coming to a close. Her hubby was diagnosed with leukemia and has been having treatments for the past few months. He had his final treatment on Monday. Things have been hectic for her as she has 2 kids as well, is going to school, and working. So like I said, I vent to her and she'll vent to me. :) It was great to hang at her place for that small amount of time.

Matt was given early liberty today so he was home at lunch time. I am still trying to adjust with 2 kids. I'm trying to find time to play with Miss B along with keeping Blake happy since he's been having his gas problems. I'm also trying to figure out a way to start walking in the morning with the 2 of them. We don't have a double stroller, but I'm thinking about getting one. A jogging one anyway. I've had a couple of people tell me they are worth the money. But they are so expensive. :( But I really want to get out in the mornings and walk. It will be so good for both of them.

Well I am off to eat some dinner and watch the news. Blake is sleeping soundly right now and Matt is about to take B on a run. I can't wait to join them...gotta get that stroller first. :) Have a great Friday night. I know I will. :)

♥ K

I Just Did the Baking

I'm referring to Blake.  Matt added that special ingredient and I baked away for nine months. That boy looks just like his daddy.

 I am super exhausted here. And swollen. My epidural didn't take full effect. I'll write more about the delivery in another blog.

 Can you tell Daddy is super proud of his son?? Miss B seeing Mr B for the first time. :)

 Getting ready to head home. Matt forgot my hair drier. One of the most important things a girl should have. Haha

 The awesomest onesie EVER :)

 I Love Love Love this picture

 We all have a big joke with this one...looks like he flicking us off for taking him out of his comfy home. LOL

Just chilaxin in my crib guys.

This is EXACTLY how Matt sleeps. I love this

It has been a rough week trying to adjust at night with Blake's sleeping and being able to take care of Bayleigh. We've been cluster feeding at night...EVERY hour. Literally, every hour. Then it takes another half hour to get him comfy in his bed, then in about 45 min, we're up again and can't get him back to sleep unless we feed him, yet during the day he'll sleep for 3 hours straight. I've read up on their days and nights and they aren't able to distinguish them yet so he doesn't have that mixed up. I don't know what it is, but I am SUPER tired. At night my legs feel like jello when I have to get up. Sometimes they feel like they are going to give out on me b/c I'm so tired. Plus I am back at the doctor's again for some sinus issues. I have no sense of smell or taste since I got out of the hospital. I went to my primary doctor first to see what could be the problem and now they are sending me to a specialist to see if there is something blocking my sinuses. Sucks. I can breathe through my nose and have no congestion, yet I have had a constant headache since Thursday evening that Motrin nor a Vicodin will make go away. It hurts in my head, jaw and back of my neck. Soooo, I have an appointment Monday at 830. I will have to drop B off at daycare and head over to the doctor's. We'll see how this goes going out with 2 kids by myself.

My mom is still here. She leaves tomorrow. She has been a big help around the house and with taking care of Bayleigh. I hate for her to leave b/c she's had so much fun with Bayleigh. She wants to take her home, which right now, I'm all for it so I can figure out Blake's schedule. LOL But I would miss her too much. Bayleigh is such a sweet girl, always giving hugs and kisses to MiMi, Mommy, and Daddy. We are so lucky to have such wonderful family to help us adjust.

Bayleigh has been adjusting well to Blake, although her temper tantrums are a little more dramatic and she's doing things to get attention. She is not responding well to us telling her "No" so some discipline might have to start taking effect. I hate to do it, but it will only get worse if we don't lay out the ground rules and consequences. I can't stand it when parents don't do this and their kids are wild and crazy and the parents have no control over them. I know she's getting used to Blake and I think it's hitting her that she's not going to have all the attention. We make sure that she knows she's loved and we play with her as much as possible. But she's got to learn to play on her own now some. She plays by herself outside really well.. I have been leaving the back door open so she can go out whenever she wants...it just sucks now that it's getting hot outside. If she could play outside all day she would.

I went walking this morning with her while my mom watched Blake. Although now he's sleeping like a baby should. UGH. Trying to get my stomach back in shape and get in good shape altogether. Oh, mom and I went to the mall yesterday and I was looking at formal dresses for the military ball at the end of may. I was so glad I could fit into a size 6, but I've still got to lose my pooch. I don't think I could suck in the entire time I'm at the ball. LOL But this is the dress I found at Cache and I want it really bad...it's just kind of expensive. So maybe next paycheck. We'll see. What do you guys think??

Yay or Nay??

Ok well I'm going to go. I didn't proof read this at all so I hope it all makes sense. :) Have a good Thursday.

♥ K

B.A.G.

Welcome to the world my handsome little man. You are too cute for words and mommy and daddy and big sister are all so proud of you and so happy to have you here...especially momma. :) Mommy's tummy is already starting to go back to normal. This go around EVERYTHING was a lot faster. I will blog more later, but wanted to update with a picture of my darling son and daughter. Wow, I have a son now. So cool. :)

Blake Allen Gully 

April 11 

8 lbs 2 oz. 

BIG BOY :)

 His too cool for school sister sportin' her bugs. :) 

(Cell phone picture that's why it's kind of blurry.)

My life has never been more complete. Thank you, Lord, for everything you have blessed me with.

♥ K

MiMi is Here!!!

Yay!!!!!! Miss B has had a fun day with MiMi. I went to work at 11 and mom said she has been great. She did take an early nap, which is unusual, but mom said that when she woke up she was reading her books in her crib. LOL That's Miss B!!!

We are still waiting on Blake. I haven't had any contractions really. Just swelling in my legs and feet. Nothing major but it is annoying. Maybe tonight??? I don't see how he can still want to be in there as cramped as he is. LOL Hopefully something with go down soon and he'll be here.

Well, this was just a quickie. We are about to watch Wheel. :)

♥ K

ABC's

Miss B is learning her ABC's. Well, sort of. But she will say every letter up until about M-O. Just depends how on far she feels like going. But it's so cool. She is just so smart. I know I keep saying it, but I just can't believe how much she tries to repeat and learn everything that you are doing. She also put two words together today. When we were leaving base she said "Bye Bye Pane (Plane)." Matt and I both looked at each other in shock. It was AWESOME! We were like "Did she just say that?!"

Ok I just wanted to share that bit of coolness about our girl. It's about time for her bed, then Vampire Diaries for me b/c it comes back on tonight, then my mom will be here around 9 or 10. Yay! Then maybe off to the hospital??? LOL

♥ K

Almost There

3 cm!!!!! YES!!! And she did the membrane stripping on me. Since my appointment this morning I have been cramping. I stopped by Matt's work briefly afterward to let Miss B play on the playground up there to get her nice and tired to take a good nap. She loves going up there to see the "cot-ters." Now she throws a HUGE fit when we leave. LOL

After we left, it didn't take her long to fall asleep in the car. She slept for probably a little over an hour and a half. It was nice b/c it gave mommy a chance to eat lunch in peace and take a nap for myself. Once we woke up we headed up to base, again, to get Dada. We FINALLY got his truck back today. It will be so nice not having to take or pick him up. Gas is just ridiculous here. We can't even fill up either of our vehicles b/c they have that cut off limit of 75 dollars. GAY!!!!

Well I just wanted to give a brief update. So now we'll see what happens. OH YEAH! My induction date is the 15th. I mean, really?! That's the earliest they could get me in. UGH. But I won't complain. The nurses and my doc have been just wonderful and we are so glad to have had both our kids with them. :) But hopefully we won't even be going to the 15th. This weekend, PRAY this is the weekend. My phone has been blowing up today since I put a post on FB about what's going on. Sorry if I haven't called or texted you back. It's been go go go today. But thanks you guys for thinking of me. Rosie, I will call you this evening once B goes to sleep. Then we can start going to the gym again hopefully in the next couple of weeks, you skinny b****! :) Matt and Rosie are my two motivators to get myself back in shape. Matt has been doing awesome at his half marathon training and Rosie, well, Rosie loves to run for one, but she's just skinny all together. The only thing that I KNOW I've got to do for myself is find that schedule with the two kids and stick with it. Feedings, play time, exercising, cooking, keeping the house picked up...it will probably take a few weeks since I am know to procrastinate, but once I'm stuck on something and have it down to where it works for me, I will be on top of it like white on rice. LOL

OK, well I'm going to go sit in the backyard and watch Miss B and Matt play.

♥ K

Cough...Cough...Cough-Cough-Cough

Oooooh, go figure. I am sick..once again. I have had this cough for the past week and thought it would go away on it's own. My mistake for thinking. Since, once again, I didn't sleep last night it has made this cough worse and now I have a runny nose along with a scratchy throat. OH EM GEE!!! Yesterday I was just coughing away. It's one of those annoying tickle coughs and every time you inhale or exhale you feel the need to cough to get it up, and yet, it doesn't come. I was coughing so hard all day yesterday that my chest started hurting and I got a headache. I will go to the doctor probably Tuesday to get some meds b/c I DON'T want to be sick with our new addition to our family coming any day. I told Matt to go see the doc tomorrow to b/c he's been sniffling a lot and I don't want him to be sick either. B is getting over her crud, yet she still has a runny nose for some reason. I just don't want whatever this is going in a repetitive cycle around our house.

Today I have been a bum. I left Matt on the couch to go to bed in the guest bed at 9:30 b/c I didn't want to keep him up with my coughing. Well, I woke up at 10:50, 12:34, sometime around 2, 3 something, 4:43, then 6:02. I laid there for about 45 min then just decided to get up. The crappy part about this is that I was actually pretty comfortable last night...just couldn't sleep. I basically dozed the entire night. So I got up and ate some cereal then made some coffee b/c this morning was definitely a coffee morning. Around 930 I was back in bed trying to take a nap. And again, I just dozed really. AHHHhhh!!! Does this crap ever end?!?!?!

Well sorry for another whiny blog. I am venting a lot lately. On a good note, I did get my nails done yesterday while Matt took B grocery shopping for once. That was a nice respite for once. :) Well, I am in the mood to clean...surprisingly. LOL I am going to go tackle my bathroom. Wish me luck!

♥ K

10 days and Counting

I was sitting at work today and realized that I have 10 days left before I can have Blake. How do I have only 10 left you ask? My doctor informed me yesterday that I can be induced 10 days out from my due date. She said that at my next appointment, which is Thursday, I can schedule an induction date. This makes me very happy. :) So I have decided, if it's possible, to be induced on the 10th because that's my mom's birthday. The only problem we may run into is that the 10th is a Sunday and the hospital may prefer to do it on a weekday. I am hoping they will make an exception since my mom has never been able to go through this experience, for one, and for two, it's her BIRTHDAY! She's really hoping for him to be born on her birthday so hopefully I can talk them into doing it. And it's not too crowded at the hospital that we would have to push it back. We may have to go in Saturday night if that's possible so he'll be born on the 10th. My doctor told me that the whole labor process takes longer when induced. Either way, I'm hoping he'll be born on the 10th. :)

Go ahead and mark you calendar as well Dana. Just in case. That's what I'm going for so if you want to come that weekend you are more than welcome! :)

I am tired today...again. Tried to sleep last night without an Ambian and I even went to Blake's room to try and sleep in our guest bed in there b/c it's a little firmer than our bed in our room so it offers more support for my big belly. After an hour or so I took half of an Ambian. I had to get up early again to take Matt to work. His poor truck is STILL not finished. He's pretty pissed that it's not and it seems like they are making excuses when they told us yesterday that they would have it finished today. Arg!

We don't really have much planned for the weekend. We, or I alone, are going to watch Sylia tomorrow compete in a local horse show with Joey. I miss having Koda. Not long before I'll be able to go out there and start working some of my friends' horses. We also talked about making a list of just some things we want to get done around the house..cleaning wise. I still need to clean my bathroom yet keep putting it off. I am being a procrastinator with it. I just don't feel like dealing with it. LOL It's really uncomfortable to be sitting there going through jewelry right now. I have to sit straight like I'm in the old Finishing Schools trying to sit with a book balanced on top of my head. Haha. Right now I'd probably pass that section with flying colors.

Well I am going to get off and watch the news then Wheel of Fortune. Matt went to go get Chick-fil-a for dinner. We are going to get groceries tomorrow morning. For some reason, I am craving Captain Crunch. OH! I heard on the radio that they are getting rid of that cereal?! NOOOOOOOooo! I hope not. I love that stuff.

Have a good Friday night!

♥ K